What’s the saddest book you’ve read recently?

The book as a whole wasn’t sad, but there was one chapter in Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List which really got to me. Just hit a bit too close to home. A character, Robin (male) is describing his friendship with Robin (female) who wants to be more than friends. It is male Robin’s only chapter in the entire book, and it is written in a frantic stream-of-consciousness style. Here is where we get a bit personal. A few months ago I lost my yeah kind of a douchebag but still my best friend due to similar misunderstandings and this chapter just managed to really hit that nerve. Perhaps not universally sad, but definitely sad at the time that I read it.

“[...] I just want to do shit like talk to her and drink with her and sit and do homework with her, because when we do shit like that, it’s not nearly as boring as it is when I do it alone, because every now and then she’ll grunt or laugh and I’ll say, What? and she’ll come up with the most random shit, which totally makes me think she’s the greatest, only I don’t want to sleep with her. And Gerald, he was saying, Dude, you know there’s a word for that kind of relationship, and I was like, Please tell me what it is because this is killing me, and Gerald was smiling and taking a big drag before he said to me, Friendship, man–that shit’s called friendship.”

And just to make this post a little lighter, here’s a song I manage to get stuck in my head whenever anyone mentions crying, tears or hot boys from New Zealand – “Hurt Feelings” by Flight of the Conchords. They never fail to cheer me up when I’m down:

Naomi and Ely's No Kiss List by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan

Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan

I generally avoid teen literature/young adult literature, most of the time I don’t find it particularly engaging, relevant or intellectually stimulating. A friend and I both read and loved Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist last summer. (And then we also went and saw the movie at the Moonlight Cinema – botanical gardens, twilight skies, comfy beanbags and a picnic, that was a really great night.) Nick and Norah was effective because it captured that anxious adolescent romantic energy, without any unnecessary moralizing or simplifying. So when it comes to the teen literature genre, I am willing to make an exception for Rachel Cohn and David Levithan’s collaborative efforts.

This time, they tackle the messy, often complicated, notion of friendship and love. Naomi and Ely have lived in the same building since they were young, they have grown up together, shared everything. Their friendship begins to collapse when Ely breaches the “No Kiss List” and kisses Naomi’s boyfriend. The story is told, unlike Nick and Norah which was told entirely by the titular characters, from the perspective of a number of different characters, all involved in the aftermath of the broken friendship.

“I knew for the first time that when you say a couple is splitting up, it’s not just the relationship that’s splitting. In some way, everyone involved gets split up, too. Each of my moms was splitting. Each of Naomi’s parents was splitting. Naomi was splitting. I was splitting. And the reaction to that—my reaction to that—was to hold on as strong as possible. To try to hold things together. Because to let go would be the end of everything. To let go would be a murder of what once was.” (Ely)

Where the novel succeeds is in understanding the delicacy and colossal importance of friendship in the lives of young adults. The relationships between all of the main characters feel, for the most part, true to life. The multi-narrator technique allows us to see how each individual sees things, the disparity with how other characters interpret events, and how this leads to conflict. Particularly touching, out of all the narrative strands, is Bruce the Second’s coming to terms with and confronting his sexuality. This issue is dealt with a supreme sensitivity and never feels overwrought.

“It is not easy. Things that matter are not easy. Feelings of happiness are easy. Happiness is not. Flirting is easy. Love is not. Saying you’re friends is easy. Being friends is not.” (Ely)

At times it is difficult to understand or empathize with Naomi’s frustration with Ely, her reasoning isn’t clear. She has feelings for Ely despite knowing he is gay, but can’t manage to grasp that their life together is never going to be anything more than friendship. Although she is clearly confused and hurt by Ely’s actions, her actions seem to be driven by an unyielding tenacity to her impossible idea of how things should be. Her emotional and personal revelations are inadequate in comparison to the changes that the other characters are going through. Her burgeoning relationship with the young doorman Gabriel at times feels a little forced, just so that she can have her happy ending.

Naomi and Ely’s No Kiss List displays an awareness of the heightened emotional response in situations of confrontation and conflict in friendships, and there is real compassion for the struggles of the characters, even when some lack complexity and urgency.